"The Dream Sucker"

Have you ever looked at your child(ren) and thought, "oh man, I make SUPER cute babies!" And then that thought leads you into thinking that maybe you should make MORE super cute babies? Yeah, I was there last night when the baby started screaming at 4 am and proceeded to fall asleep ON me. He gave me the cutest little smile in his sleep and I just "know" he was dreaming about his mama :) And I thought, "ok, just ONE more... Maybe I'll have a girl, right?"

So this morning, reality started to sink in. And by "reality" of course, I mean God stepped and reminded me why two boys are really enough for me to handle. I typically get woken up by Jman around 6:45-7am bc that boy is incapable of sleeping in. Ever. Well, this morning, my husband got up with him---- as I was apparently out cold, covered in drool with my eye mask only covering one eye (... I guess that's the universal sign that I needed a little more sleep???)  Well, Baby Gray woke me up a little after 9 and we seriously made the scene from Home Alone (you know, where they are all frantically running towards the airplane) look like a complete joke. I made it to the gym before I realized I was wearing my Toms... Awesome. But, I'm a bad ass so I took a Barre class (highly recommend that) and left feeling like I had the energy I needed to make it throughout the day.

About 15 minutes after Gray went down for his nap, I started making my Physical Therapists some chocolate chip cookies and made Jman and I some lunch. I grabbed my favorite drink of all time (Diet Dr. Pepper- duh!) and popped some cookies in the oven. I guess my mind was elsewhere bc when the timer went off, it scared the be-Jesus out of me, causing me to smack my DDrP can... which  ricocheted between the couch and back to the end table before landing with a very loud THUD on our floor and exploded into my face. I tried to cover the can but the bomb had already exploded. It. Got. Everywhere. I ran into the kitchen like I was finishing a freaking Iron Man race and practically threw the can into the sink. Of course Jman was so elated that I was the one that made the mess and not him, that he started busting up laughing. I couldn't help myself and I was laughing too. I burnt that batch of cookies, by the way.

I decided it would be best to take a shower after that fiasco, but it turns out, it was a pretty pointless effort. Not 5 minutes into watering my garden (which was about 10 min after my shower), the stretchable hose (you know, the one that shrinks when you turn off the water and expands again when you turn it back on... Yeah, don't buy a knock off...) starts to leak. I remember thinking, "hmmm, that's odd, I wonder why it's leaking waaaaaaaaa....." And then BOOM!!! The hose explodes. The water blast hits me square in between the eyes- sending my glasses God know where. So (of course) I drop the hose and scream like I've just had my arm cut off and my 4-yr is laughing so hard, I think he's probably peed himself, but since I am blind without my glasses, I can't be 100% sure of that. I ended up finding my glasses and tried to save my dignity and pride by finishing up watering the garden in my completely drenched (and now see-through) white shirt and shorts. I decided it was time to bake some more cookies...

I went into our laundry room/ pantry to change clothes and grab some powdered sugar (for the icing) and was brutally attacked by a wasp-like flying insect. I have no clue what it was, but it was created by the Devil. That, I am sure of. It kept flying into my face and somehow my ninja moves were not successful today.

I gave up on cookies.

I ate the cookie dough outside on my front porch and read my trashy novel.

Then the baby woke and life continued on as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

And this is why two boys are enough for me, but just as a reminder to everyone else who keeps telling me I should try for a girl... Let's recap the last 4-1/2 years. Highlights only.


Jman:

Birth: traumatic doesn't even cover it... And if you've never had a baby, don't ask me about my birth stories. They will scare you into adopting lol.

0-6 months: colic, got a "pee-stache"/peed in the eye, throw-up in the mouth, deployed spouse, LOTS of plane-time with a baby (traveling by myself of course), doesn't sleep through the night

1-2yrs: Desitin-ed the dog/walls/carpet/appliances/himself, put plastic Tupperware in the oven (of course I neglected to think of that possibility before preheating it), numerous eggs were damaged when he became a "helper", discovered his artistic side with Sharpee, still doesn't sleep through the night

2-3yrs: poop in the closet, poop on my comforter, pooped and WIPED it in my nose (and it got stuck behind my nose ring), poop on his walls/carpet/IN the vent/himself/shoes, pooped in a book (the day I found out Gray was a boy), painted his toenails with my OPI red nail polish... And his carpet too (looked like a murder scene), still doesn't sleep through the night

3-4: decides he wants to be more like dad (lots of pee missing the toilet, lots of body/face art with markers, all about his penis), using tampons as tobacco products, using tampons to conduct the choir, confusing tampons as "female penises"...


The list really does go on...

Gray is just starting out, but I imagine it's only a matter of time before I get grey hairs popping up...

So yes, I am happy having ONLY two boys. Can you imagine if we brought a girl or (Heaven forbid ANOTHER) boy into this craziness lol. Nope, not going there.

Enjoy your even y'all! Same time, same place for tomorrow's adventure recap!!