Protein Pizza and Roseola

Sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep, my mind goes over everything I was supposed to do that day and mentally try and prepare myself for all the amazing things I'm going to get done the next day. It really is more of a pain in the ass because at the end of the day, all I really want to be able to do is lay down in my nice big bed and drift off to dream land. You know, like my husband. When he says he's going to bed, he goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, slips into bed and is out like a light within 5 minutes. It's seriously not fair. So, about these big plans for the next day, I always seem to have a million and one things on my "To-Do" list for the next day. I go to bed excited for what awesome things I'm going to accomplish and how freaking amazing I'm going to feel when they all get done. 

*pause for effect*

Then I typically wake up more tired than when I went to bed and my plans go out the window. 

Today, was one of those days. 

Poor baby Gray ended up sleeping with me last night because I was emotionally, mentally and physically too tired to keep walking back into his room to soothe him (I apologize to everyone who is OK with letting their child soothe themselves. This is not one of those times. He wasn't feeling well and needed constant cuddles). Since the dog only takes up a portion of our CalKing bed, I figured I'd sleep better only adding a 20 lb baby into the mix. After all, how much room does he really require? He typically sleeps on his knees with his face smushed into his mattress, right?! Um, yeah, so last night... He had to be touching me. As in ALL NIGHT TOUCHING ME. His toe had to touch me. And if his toe couldn't touch me, then his arm had to be draped on me. Heaven forbid I move into a position that is actually comfortable for me. Tears sounded the instant he lost contact with my awesomeness. So yeah, I really don't recommend co-sleeping. Like. Ever. I didn't really sleep. 

This morning was a freaking blur. Seriously, I really can't remember the specifics. I know I got a shower in because I woke up with drool all over my hair, face and neck. And honestly, I couldn't tell you if it belonged to me, Baby Gray or Sheppy. I smelled awful. And you know it's bad when you can smell yourself above a dirty diaper and dog hair. So I do know I showered. I'm pretty sure Jman's internal alarm went off at o-dark-thirty again and I'm really wondering how the hell I fix that. I cannot wait 10 more years until he's in his teens for a good night's rest. I just can't. I'll be old and grey and probably a bitch. And no one wants that. Esp not my poor husband who has already agreed never to divorce me. Sucker. (Kidding, I love him)

I have no clue what I made for breakfast, but I DO know that when I cleaned up his room this afternoon, he had a bag of Cooler Ranch Doritos sitting out that was definitely not there the night before (I think I scared him shitless about bugs and crumbs bc he's been too afraid to sleep in his bed if he's spilled any type of snack on it... Lots of nights sleeping on his floor..I don't have the heart to tell him bugs crawl on the floor BEFORE making it into beds. I don't want to go there right now. I once told him he needs to hang up his clothes and close his closet door or else his shirts would try and jump off the hangers and put themselves on him in the middle of the night... Um, not my best parenting move. He REFUSED to sleep in his room without parental supervision bc he kept having recurring nightmares of his clothes attacking him. He's a creative child...) back to our morning- the baby woke up the same time Jman did but I was able to put Gray back in his bed shortly after giving J ... Whatever it was that I gave go for breakfast. So I went to sleep too. I think. Maybe I just walked around the house in a daze. That sounds more probable. I mean, right before I went to bed, I checked the laundry and it ran SOME TIME during the day. I'm assuming I slept-cleaned... Hmmm...

So let's get to the part where I'm a super stellar mom. 

Soccer evals. 

I decided it would be a great idea to try and run with a stroller to the evals taking place up the road from my house. With a double stroller. Not to be confused with a double JOGGER. When I had bought the double stroller I had gladly accepted the fact that Becca + running ... Was NOT going to happen. Sad news for me. It WAS happening. And it was so much harder to run on a road than on a treadmill. And in Alabama's humidity too. Shit, back sweat AND boob sweat. I didn't even realize that was possible for me. Had I have not been trying frantically to suck in all that awful humid oxygen into my lungs before I passed the fudge out, I think I might've been happy that my good ole a-cupped girls were able to have enough cleavage needed to produce boob sweat. Unfortunately, I was near death's door and only ran about 1/2 of the distance to the soccer fields. It was depressing. And then I saw another neighbor dripping in sweat who said she had ran THREE FREAKING MILES!! Damnit! She's my hero. 

Soccer evals went well. Um, well, they went well enough for a 4-yr old who's only introduction to soccer has been through Kinect Sports (I know, judge away. Again. I'm an awful mom for letting my child play video games. But my ankles are still healing from their surgeries and some days it's just too plain HOT to go outside. Suck it... Not really. You can judge.) He ended up doing fairly well and really seemed like he was having a blast. Gray, eh, not so much. At first, he was having fun kicking around the soccer ball and chasing after it. Then, he just... Stopped. Like really, stopped. My normally very active, happy baby walked over to his seat in the stroller and just sat there until the end of the evals. I chucked it up to the heat and we ended up heading home shortly after the evaluations were over. 

When I went to take him out of the stroller, I noticed he was unbelievably hot. I'm talking sweating, red cheeks and lethargic- hot. I took his temp and it was almost 103! Oh. Fuck. Me. I stripped his cute little butt down and have him a bath with his brother. I had just finished washing them both when Gray started to shake. Think Michael J. Fox shakes. His lips were turning blue and he had goosebumps all over. I seriously could've won an award with how fast I swooped him up, wrapped him in towels and pressed him to be. It was one of the scariest things as a parent that I have witnessed. It took him well over 10 minutes for his shakes to subside. I gave him some medicine and tried to feed him but he would not eat A N Y T H I N G. And this is my good-eater too. So, I did what any good parent would do: I went to Burger King to grab his meal of choice--- a cheeseburger (processed foods! I know! But, I don't know how to use a grill and my husband was working). Of course I had to stop at the store for some other things as well, bc (and let's face it) I had no clue why he wasn't feeling well and if I needed to take him to the ER, I wanted to have food for us to return home to so I wasn't having to resort to any more fast food finds. 

I bet you are all on pins and needles waiting to hear if he ate his cheeseburger? And the answer is... No. He fell asleep as we were pulling into our subdivision. Awesome. It's in the fridge in case he wants to eat tomorrow. 

After I laid him down and ninja-back out of his room, I started googling his symptoms. Moms, don't do this. It will freak you out and make you believe your child is dying of a very rare form of the flu. I know better, but I couldn't get ahold of my own mom to go over his symptoms with her. I called my MIL and by the time Gray had woken up, I decided he needed to be seen. He was still running a High fever and didn't want to eat or drink. My wonderful next door neighbor had texted me she was coming to pick up Jman. Oh, did in mention this text appeared AS I was discovering my monthly bill had arrived? And I couldn't find tampons? Sa-weet!! Well, at least I knew J would be in good hands and I could worry about where the hell Jman had hidden my tampons at a later point in time (seriously, he uses them as drumsticks these days so I have no clue where they all are at. Really, child?!)

The ER staff was friendly enough so I won't bore you with any of those details. Sometimes I understand I do not look 28, but trust me- I am. And what's better is that I also understand sarcasm. It's my first language... Oh wait, I just said I wasn't going to bore you with that. Sorry. So Gray has Roseola. Or potentially a type of stomach virus associated with high fevers. And he WAS contagious... YESTERDAY. Y'all remember yesterday right? When I had some of my friends over to hang out? Oh yeah. That's EXACTLY what I wanted to hear. *sigh* I wish they served alcohol in Emergency Rooms. I needed a stiff drink. We honestly won't know what he has until his fever breaks. If it is Roseola, he'll get a rash on his trunk and possibly his arms and legs. He had this back in December. Poor guy. 

Driving back home, after hearing he was most likely not going to kill anyone with his virus, I wanted to still make pizza for dinner. So, I asked my friends to come back over and Lysol-ed the Be-Jesus out of anything and everything. Whatever didn't get Lysol-ed, was Clorox-ed. I feel confident that my house is more sterile than a hospital and hope to God I didn't miss any parts. The pizza dough could've been better, the cauliflower "bread" Stix could've been better, but my Protein Pizza was amazing and so were my friends. The kids, of course, did what kids do best and made a complete mess out of my house lol. It was great. It took my mind off Gray being sick instead of just teething and it gave Jman some time to get out his energy before bedtime. Oh, and my house is now clean again bc my friends also pick up their messes. They deserve awards. 

So now, my sweet little boy is drugged up and cuddled beside me once more as his big brother snores soundly I'm his room. And here I am, recording my life for everyone in the hopes that it'll help me go to sleep and NOT plan out my day tomorrow. Maybe if I plan NOTHING, the boys will surprise me and I'll be able to get a lot of things accomplished!! Wishful thinking, I know...

Oh, before I forget: if anyone wants the recipe to my Protein Pizza, here it is! It's seriously LOW-CARB!!!

Crust:

1 lb cooked chicken breast

2-3 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

Put in a food processor and grind up. It'll look like pink mush. It is gross to look at, but tastes delicious. Lay out a piece of parchment paper on a baking sheet. Spread the crust mixture out with your hands and flatten it (if you want a thinner pizza, press it out more firmly.  *please note, a thicker pizza will be easier to hold in your hands.) Bake at 425° for 12 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes. 

Toppings:

Tomato Sauce

Oregano

Garlic

Basil

Shredded mozzarella cheese

Whatever other toppings you prefer

Spread the tomato sauce over the crust (this takes a little more than a small can) and sprinkle it with oregano, garlic and basil. Top with the cheese and whatever other toppings you like. Bake at 425° for ~7 minutes (the cheese will be bubbling and slightly browned). Let cool and then enjoy!! This feeds about 3 people, unless you are a male Marine. Then, you could probably eat this by yourself. It is very filling and has roughly 2g of carbs per piece. 

See you all tomorrow night!!